Just Say, “Whoa!”

Naomi Karten’s book Managing Expectations: Working with People Who Want More, Better, Faster, Sooner, NOW! offers pragmatic advice on how to manage expectations and dramatically improve your effectiveness. After reading her book, I was able to better set expectations and maintain a greater balance between my professional and personal life. For example, when appropriate, say “Whoa!” to your supervisor. Saying no is usually not well-received. Saying “whoa,” however, creates some time and space to truly understand what the boss is asking you to do. Slow the conversation down, and make sure you understand what is being asked.

 

One of my bosses had a type A personality: She worked fast, liked control, was highly competitive, and had a strong desire to succeed. Nine times out of ten, when you were called to her office, you were anticipating that something was wrong, and you steeled yourself for some verbal tough love.

 

One day she called me at five p.m. with what, at first, appeared to be an urgent request. I was actually trying to leave the office on time for once to meet my wife for dinner. She sputtered, “I need a white paper—A WHITE PAPER on function point analysis! Do you know what that is?”

 

After taking a deep breath, I literally said, “Whoa!” and asked, “When do you need this?”

 

She abruptly stopped and paused to check her calendar: “Um, let’s see, I need it in two weeks. Yes, I meet with the client again in two weeks.”

 

I was thinking she needed it the next day. Taking the time to clarify expectations gave us both some much-needed mental space and reduced the stress of an imaginary tight deadline.

 

Then I asked, “How many pages should this white paper be?”

 

“Three to five,” she replied.

 

I was thinking 10 pages, so again, saying “whoa” made the request clearer.

 

“Do you have an example of what you are looking for?”

 

“Yes. Ask Daniel for a copy of a white paper on XYZ corporation that I wrote ten years ago.”

 

I smiled and left the office on time knowing that I would be able to enlist my staff to help the next morning. We had plenty of time to conduct the research and draft the white paper for the boss’s review well before the client meeting.

 

Before I learned how to manage my supervisor’s expectations by saying “whoa,” I would have cancelled dinner with my wife, frustrating her and upsetting me, worked all night to develop a 10-page white paper, and the next day gotten yelled at for not meeting my boss’s expectations. That’s a lose–lose–lose proposition all the way around.

 

Instead, with all that information, my supervisor’s request was more manageable, I had an example to follow, and the deadline was further out than I had first imagined. I never would have known what was expected if I hadn’t had the courage to say “whoa.” This was a turning point in the relationship with my supervisor, which also gave me insight into how I needed to be clear on setting and managing expectations and deadlines when I became the boss.